Day One

I can't wait any longer. It's back to too much drinking and too much eating. Forget the countdown, I'm going cold turkey, 15 days too early.

The day one starts now. It's not 1st of January, it' not even Monday. It's just NOW, the beginning.

 EDITED 1/15/13 Only in my dreams. The actual day one was like a week after the 1.1.13...

Handweights and Snow

Twenty days and the magical new start, new life, new year will be here. The countdown is going well. I got those handweights and thare has been plenty of snowshovelling, too, to give my upper body busy. The crazy amount of snow has slowed down my running, though.

Honestly, the countdown could have gone wild. Knowing myself I'm actually quite surprised that instead of snow shovelling I haven't been shovelling food into myself. I could have very easily slipped into a mind set of letting lose before it's too late. I'm pleasantly surprised with myself.

The snow, the snow is wonderful. I don't mind getting my toes wet and cold. I love this real winter weather. When it melts, when the spring arrives, I'm going to like it too. And hopefully I'll like how I'll be then.

Trusting the Magic

I'm going to throw myself into believing in the magic of the Brand New Year. The year 2013 will be my special year. The year I will drop extra kilos and extra this and that behind!

Let the count down begin! 36 days. 36 days for buying a set hand weights and 36 days of taking my first steps in weight training. Walking and jogging are OK, but I have been told over and over weight and resistance training is essential for losing weight.

36 days of count down.

A Little Taste of Normality

A few days ago I got to taste "normality". It was really strange. And really, really lovely.

I had had a long and stressful day, on the way home I stopped at a deli and picked up a delicious bagel with good stuff. Later I ate the bagel and that was it. I didn't even think about food or much of anything else until a few hours later when I realised I was really really thirsty. And I drank three glasses of water and went to bed.

So what was so strangely normal about my day?! Two things. Firstly, I had the delicious bagel, enjoyed it and felt satisfied. Usually after a long and stressful day and stuff my face with everything possible. Secondly, I experienced thirst. It's very rare for me to feel thirsty. And to recognise it as thirst and not a food graving.

 This is how I would love to live my life. Have this peaceful relationship to food and weight-issues. Let food serve as nutrition and not as a source of stress or destructive way of trying to cope with stress. 

October Runs

I did it, the October calorie count for running is 7700. That meant 108 kilometers.

The battle in my head goes on. I still haven't thrown myself in this weight loss struggle. Each day I feel yuckier and yuckier about myself, the rock bottom has to be near. And then, then the only way is up!

The Boots that Zip up

The knee lenght winter boots from last year zip up npw. But not easily, it would be uncomfortable to wear them. So I'm not hopping on the scale yet.

Two thirds of the month is gone and two thirds of my running goal (to burn 7,500 cal) is gone!

October Steps

This month I'm aiming for running 7,500 calories away. One third of the month is gone and one third of the goal has been achieved. October weather is perfect for running. This is fun.

I have not dared to step on the scale for several weeks. Last time when I did and the number hadn't changed a bit from the previous time (78 KG), I had one of those brain hiccups. The hiccup goes like this: "I'm disappointed, this is not working, I don't give a s**t, I give up, I stuff my face with junk food again...". I got over the hiccup, but I'm not going to make the same mistake again.

My winter boots from last year are too small. I can't pull the zippers all the way up. When I can, that's when I step on the scale again.