The scale went back to 81.8 and even if this small change from yesterday's 82.4. is just a fluke I'm claiming it to be the first step. But seriously, I had no idea how strange and almost nightmarish my thoughts would turn when I decided to lose weight. I'm ready to say this business has basically nothing to do with calories, food, energy in and out but it's all about YOUR HEAD, mind, soul, heart and emotions!
The wall, the protective wall of extra kilos. I still have no answer why I need it. I have one guess and it has to do with negative feelings. I have a tendency to think super positively, I like pushing all the bad stuff aside and concentrating on the positive. It's not a bad way to live but the fact is I just simply have no power to stop all the bad events, negative comments, hurtful words, sad stories. They still exist whether I think about them or not. And now, maybe, maybe I deal with the unpleasant stuff in my life by eating or overeating?!
I have now become painfully aware of the psychological sides of weight issues. I keep working on my head. I just have to. If I start counting calories or make the portions smaller right now I'm absolutely sure it will just lead to senseless and terrifying over-eating.
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